Post by theoc71 on May 4, 2011 16:58:24 GMT -8
EMW Wired
Wednesday March 13th, 2008
Wachovia Center
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
From the broadcast booth at ringside, Fredrick James Francis and Ron Burgundy welcomed everyone to EMW Wired. They hyped up tonight’s main event being Bud Bundy & Tommy Vercetti against Al Bundy & Terrell Owens. They then mentioned that Terrell Owens makes his EMW Wired in-ring debut.
Bloodrayne def. Stripperella via pinfall after the Blood Spike. In the final moments of the match, Stripperella had the match won with the Lap Dance but just when she was going for the pin. The lights went out in the arena. When they came back on Selene was standing in the ring and the referee was knocked out. Then the lights out again and then when they came back on the referee is back up, Selene is gone and Stripperella is laid out on the ground. Bloodrayne then picked up Stripperella and gave her the Blood Spike and the pinfall win.
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Christina Aguilera Returns…at EMW March Madness!
In the back, Kelly Bundy watched the Christina Aguilera video and scoffs at it then Joy Giovanni approached Kelly and asked her about Christina’s return after maternity leave and Kelly said, “I can’t believe this woman gets all the attention. If there’s one woman in the EMW Wired roster that deserves to have the most attention, it’s me. I was the first woman to become the Vixxxen’s Champion. I’m not a woman who had to be preggers to get any type of attention. As a matter of fact, by the way she dresses; it was a matter of time before that whore got knocked up. Plus, the man she is with, I’ve dated with losers that are half as attractive as him.” Suddenly, EMW Wired General Manager Donald Trump has arrived and told Kelly if she has a problem with Christina then he has a way to settle it. Trump then booked a match between Christina Aguilera and Kelly Bundy at Gold Quest.
The Sandman def. McLovin via pinfall after the White Russian Leg Sweep. Before the match, Jack Sparrow joined Francis and Burgundy for guest commentary on the match. After the match, The Sandman was celebrating in the ring and Sparrow sneaked in the ring and attempts to attack Sandman but Sandman turns around and Sparrow then quickly exits the ring and heads to the back.
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In the back, Tommy Vercetti is warming up for his tag team main event match until his partner for tonight; Bud Bundy along with Brooke Adams arrived and approached Vercetti. The two men shook hands and Tommy said, “Hey, eventhough I’m not going after the Universal title at March Madness, I’m pretty glad that you have a chance for the gold because if it isn’t me, I’m glad it’s you.” Bundy then replied, “Well coming from a former World Champion, that says a lot, man. Thanks! Hey, I heard that you got the match against Terrell Owens at Gold Quest. That means if I win the title and you beat the crap out of that crybaby T.O., there may be a chance that you and me will face each other for the Universal title down the road.” Vercetti then said, “Well if that’s true, you do realize that I will do whatever it takes to be the champion and if I had to go through you to do it, I will.” Bud then said, “Well, let’s see what happens then because right now, we have to focus on beating up my loser of a father and the crybaby choke artist tonight in the ring tonight." Bud & Brooke then leave as Vercetti looked on.
Paris Hilton with Kim Kardashian def. EMW Women’s Tag Team Champion Vampire Slayer Faith Lehane with Buffy Summers via pinfall after Kardashian tripped Faith as she was going to suplex Paris back to the ring. Then Kim hanged on to Faith’s leg during the three count without the referee knowing.
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Marsellus Wallace def. Ace Ventura in an EMW United States #1 Contender Match Qualifying Match via pinfall after the powerbomb.
In the back, Joy Giovanni interviewed Al Bundy about teaming up with Terrell Owens against Tommy Vercetti and Al’s son, Bud Bundy later tonight. Also, Joy mentioned that he would face his own sun at March Madness to determine the first EMW Universal Champion. Al Bundy said, “Is that fact suppose to show some emotion in me, Joy?! Is it supposed to make me say that I would never wish the day to happen?! Well not only am I looking forward to it, I embrace it. You see Joy; today’s parents are nothing more than a bunch of wimps. They have no idea how to punish a child that has been misbehaving or thinks that he or she is better than you. Event when they do punish their child, the child’s punishment is nothing more than a timeout and some counseling from some quack doctor. Yeah, like that will help. At March Madness, I want all the parents in the world to pay close attention as I show everyone how to really control your child as I beat my so called son to the ground so bad that child services won’t save your ass. As for tonight, it looks like we’re going to have a little cram session in the Tag Team Match.” Bundy then leaves.
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Human Tornado…Coming Soon To EMW!!!!
Rocky Balboa with Apollo Creed def. Agent 47 in an EMW United States Championship #1 Contender Match Qualifier via pinfall after the Widow Maker. It was explained before the match that Balboa and Creed had been training all of last week in an attempt to get Balboa back into the “Rocky of old”.
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In the back, Apollo Creed congratulated Rocky Balboa on the win earlier today but tells Rocky to stay focused come March Madness against Marsellus Wallace. Creed tells Balboa that there’s a lot more training till then. Just as Creed and Balboa were about to leave the arena, Marsellus Wallace attacked Balboa from behind and knocked him out with a lead pipe and then did the same with Creed. Wallace looks down at Balboa and Creed and smiled before leaving.
Veronica Mars def. Ashlee Simpson with Jessica Simpson via pinfall after the Fisherman’s Suplex. After the match, The Simpson Sisters are arguing in the center of the ring which leads to a shoving match between the two sisters which had to be separated by officials and security.
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Kelly Bundy def. Avril Lavigne via pinfall after the Bundy Bounce. After the match, Kelly said that at Gold Quest, Christina Aguilera would wish she’d be back from Maternity Leave because she’s going to embarrass and destroy her in the middle of the ring.
From the ringside broadcast booth, Fredrick James Francis and Ron Burgundy ran down the card so far for EMW Gold Quest:
-- EMW Universal Championship Tournament Final – Father vs. Son: Bud Bundy vs. Al Bundy
-- EMW United States Championship: Jack Sparrow vs. The Sandman
-- EMW Vixxxen’s Championship: Lindsay Lohan© vs. Lita
-- EMW Women’s Tag Team Championship: The Vampire Slayers © vs. The Socialites
-- Grudge Match: Tommy Vercetti vs. Terrell Owens
-- EMW United States Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Rocky Balboa with Apollo Creed vs. Marsellus Wallace
-- *Just Announced* Stripperella & vs. Bloodrayne & Selene
-- The Return Of Christina Aguilera: Christina Aguilera vs. Kelly Bundy
-- Debut Match: Carrot Top vs. Terry Bowgard
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Al Bundy & Terrell Owens def. Bud Bundy & Tommy Vercetti via pinfall when Owens pinned Bud Bundy after Bundy tried for a Bundy Stunner but Owens escaped and then Al Bundy hits Bud with a low blow and then Owens hits the Playmaker for the win. After the match, Al Bundy and Terrell Owens celebrated on the rampway as Brooke Adams checked on Bud Bundy to see if he’s okay and Tommy Vercetti looking on in anger as the show ends for tonight.
“crushcrushcrush” by Paramore from their hit album Riot! Available Now is the official theme song of EMW Wired's Gold Rush!